I Never Told You
Castiel Fan Fiction
For my friend Lily
A/N I have never wrote Castiel before so cut me some slack.
I miss those blue eyes. How you kiss me at night. I miss the way we sleep, like there’s no sunrise, like the taste of your smile. I miss the way we breathe.
It had been over a month since I last saw Castiel. He popped in every once in a while. I know it shouldn’t bother me that’s it’s been over two weeks since I last saw him. I wanted to call Dean and Sam and ask them if they’ve heard or seen Castiel, but they had no idea that Cas and me even had feelings for each other. I remember when he told me about “this strange feeling in his stomach”. He told me that Dean had said it was love for me. I laughed. Of course I laughed. An angel and a hunter who’s seen more then she should have. Who knows too much. Who’s been scared too much. Who was left broken hearted and grieved with death.
But I never told you, what I should have said. No, I never told you. I just held it in.
I looked at my phone; my thumb hovered over the call button. I weighed the idea of calling Dean and asking about Cas. I thought of praying to Cas. I had tried once or twice every once in a while. It seemed never to work. Maybe one more try.
“Okay! Well, Castiel I’ve been worried about you like crazy, so if you want to shake your cute little ass down here, I’d be very happy.”
And now I miss everything about you. I can’t believe it. I still want you. After all the things we’ve been through. I miss everything about you. Without you…
I opened my eyes with a smile. I did a 360 spin hoping to see my beautiful angel in a trench coat.
I see your blue eyes. Every time I close mine. You make it hard to see, where I belong to. When I’m not around you, It’s like I’m not with me.
I felt like crying. I hit call. After three rings Dean picked up.
“What’s up, buttercup?”
“Have you…have you heard from Castiel?” I said fast.
“Awwww! Someone has a little crush, doesn’t she!”
“Shut. Up. Dean”
“Sammy! You have to hear this!” I groaned. Why was Dean such a child?
“Goodbye, Dean.” I said hanging up. I deiced it was to late to get a straight answer from him.
What I should have said. No, I never told you. I just held it in.
I threw my phone across the room. Why was I like this? Emotional, I mean. I never usually let anyone close to me. I watched my mom die. I watched my brother die. I watched my boyfriend die. After that, when the Winchesters meet me, they knew I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend or a string of one night stands, I was looking for family and they took me in and took care of me as if I was their little sister and I loved it.
And now I miss everything about you (still you’re gone) I can’t believe it, I still want you (and I’m lovin’ you, I never should have walked away) After all the things we’ve been through (I know it’s never gonna come again.) I miss everything about you. Without you…
I suddenly heard a sound of wings.
“Cas!” I said spinning towards the sound.
“Sorry, chica. Just me, Gabriel, but you are welcome to sleep with me too.” He said with a smile as he put a green sucker in his mouth.
“What do you want?” I asked annoyed that he wasn’t my angel, but Sam’s angel, although neither of them would ever admit it.
“I heard you calling Castiel and I need to talk to him.” He simply stated.
“Well, as you can see he’s not here.”
“No. He has freewill, he makes his own choices.”
“Then he wont come. I think something’s wrong. Summon him or I will.”
“Fine.” I said.
But I never told you what I should have said No I never told you. I just held it in.
It was five minutes before Cas showed up and when he did he collapsed in Gabriel’s arms.
“I told you.” Gabriel murmured. I held in the urge to smack him as hard as I could for Castiel’s sake. We quickly put him on the couch. Gabriel fought to take his trench coat off which revealed a large gash running across his stomach. A blue light kept shining through the gash. I knew it was his grace trying to leave this vessel. Gabriel was able to heal Castiel, but Cas instantly drifted into sleep.
“Your welcome, _______” Gabriel mumbled.
“Thanks, Gabriel.” Gabriel left me alone with Castiel. I brushed a strand of hair out of his face. His eyes fluttered in this sleep. He looked so calm and at peace. It was the first time I saw him like this in what felt like years. This civil war has been hard on Castiel, even I could tell.
And now I miss everything about you (still you’re gone). Can’t believe it, I still want you (And I’m lovin’ you, it’s never gonna come again). I miss everything about you…
Castiel awoke from his very short power nap. I waited for him to be fully aware on what was happening before I talked to him.
“__________-“ Castiel started.
I smashed my lips against his, not wanting to wait an extra second